Hover and Flick, Hover and Flick.

There are some things that should just not be done in public. Here is a short, and obvious, list of some of those activities;  picking your nose, farting, picking a wedgie, adjusting your junk, scratching your crotch, popping your zits, etc. I am sure you could add to that list. I could too, and I am going to.

I was sitting near the pulpit in church this past week while helping our Primary children with their Primary program. I could look out among the audience easily from up there, and I often did. At one point while scanning the pews, a certain woman caught my attention. She was doing something quite peculiar, but I could not figure out right away what exactly it was.

Both of her hands were hovering over her chin. Her hands would  move ever so slowly about two centimeters from her chin, and then every now and again her left hand would make a quick and forceful flicking motion. I watched more intently, my eyes now squinting at her in concentration.

What on earth was this lady doing? Breathing into her hands and sniffing in an attempt to check the scent of her breath? Waving psychotically to someone in front of her? Leading music to herself in a most ineffective way? No, none of those made sense. But as I watched and studied her, I finally saw a clue glinting from the glare of the overhead lights. In her left hand she held a pair of tweezers.

Oh. My. Gosh. It hit me quick, I knew now what the woman was doing there in the middle of the chapel. My face slowly changed from a look of confusion, to one of shock coupled with just a touch of disgust. It all made sense now. With her right hand hovering ever so closely around her chin she was feeling for stray and over-grown facial hairs.Then once she found one, her left hand quickly plucked those straggly hairs right out of her chinny chin chin. I sat in disbelief for a moment and watched her continue on. Then I chuckled quietly to myself at the bizarro-ness of what I was witnessing.

Now I certainly am not judging the woman for having unwanted facial hair. I totally understand that, I have plenty of those too. Heck, I am a pretty mole-y person, and moles and hair tend to go hand in hand. So yeah, I like a good tweeze session as much as the next granny. However, tweezing in public? Tweezing witchy chin hair in the middle of church? No. Just, no.  That personal grooming activity, like popping zits and adjusting your junk, is just better left to the privacy of your own home.