Fuzzy.

Me and Uly

Right now I feel a bit fuzzy about today, just like this picture. Sometimes, often times, later at night I am filled with anxiety and worry that I didn't "do" my day well enough. Once that anxiety and self doubt is planted in my brain it easily spreads like a plague  and it seems the best thing to do at that point is to go to sleep. Somehow just turning off my brain can alleviate the angst that builds, and reset my balance so that I can "ride the wave" (as my Mom would say) of tomorrow.

BUT! Even though my mind is being overtaken by all the "I didn't do well enoughs." And I need to go to sleep to make them shut the bleep up. Today I know my boys felt important and safe, loved and happy.

We biked with Oscar home from school, and the boys shared a tiny bag of baby carrots as we went. I kissed them and we played a bunch of baseball in the yard, two balls got stuck on our roof and 3 went over the fence. They helped me do some yard work, we tried to avoid getting stung by the wicked wasps, and we got rained on.

Right now today feels fuzzy. But I am pretty sure, despite my lame down trodden-tude, it really was fuzzy good.